I'm having a BIG problem....

I've been here for not even 48 hours and yet it feels like weeks ady since i first set my foot on the ground of UTM...

The trip back to Johor has been...ok..i guess..
I dono why I'm so cold to Jo.
he phoned me at the airport asking me if i already arrived.
Well, great dat u still remember me huh...
but i stick to steven n chiou yann all the time..
I laughed at their jokes, i joked with them, but my eyes are trying to find his shadow...
but when he's near, i tried to 'hide'....
The most i do is smile at him..
And he took a long look at me b4 he go..
It feels as if he has something to say...
at least that's wat i feel...

He finally talked to me when we reached the airport.
He walk dwn the plane with Doreen n Wei Ning..
Part of me feel like walk faster to catch him up, and yet part of me pulled me back..
But then we finally caught up wif them.
Chiou yann n him was talking and i just walked in front of them not bothering to talk at all..
At last he ask y i dun wan to bother him.
Asked if i'm not in a good mood or wat, and say my temper is bad..
Well...i dono why but i just dun feel like being nice to him...

He stood beside me while waiting for luggage,
Part of me reli wanted to just chat wif him nicely like nothing ever happened..
but my mouth and heart just don't want to listen..
I feel that he is like a stranger to me..
i know it's my own problem...
but i just dono why i reacted like that.
Even Chiou yann asked me ystrdy what happen between me n Jo.
I dont know..I reli dont know...
But b4 they leave, He played with my luggage, attempting to snatch it..
well, it seems to break the ice...i guess....
but still....
sigh~


Saw him 2day with aH liang at the Hall ( we have taklimat for the whole archi students )...
but i dun even dare to look his way and pretend to laugh n talk to chiou yann.
ARGH~~ wat happened to me ???
it feels like i'm using my frens to 4get abt him..
to forget how close we used to be...


I know it's stupid...

A wall seems to be building inside my heart to block him away from me without me even knowing it.

maybe...

maybe im just protecting myself from getting hurt again...

but i know how badly i missed him...